Yup I gotta try singing that song. I just don't know or get why some things go so wrong... because of people being stupid. I guess I am definitively hard to swallow for some... I just don't understand why, if someone else's life is at stake, they just don't get over themselves and simply deal with whom they don't like just being civil and getting things done. It is funny when i get a message forwarded to me so i can help, when they already know where I am, how to contact me... and simply seem to be avoiding me because they can. I don't get the reason... I don't get many things. I just hope that even if this is a pill, they can swallow it for the sake of an innocent that needs help. But some actions make you wonder... I don't know. It just makes me really sad. I want to help so badly, and each time that I propose the big answer/tool for that, people just don't want the big compromise or to get involved. Then they complain about things going from bad to worst and no one being able to stop it... And then they point at the ones that abandoned the island to its fate as if we wanted to do so. When a life is at stake, it is all or nothing. We all do different things to achieve that goal... for keeps. We know that if we had chosen to stay within the isle, our kid will be dead. And if not even one doctor is really willing to see these kids... the road will take a high toll in lives. And with politics being as harsh as they have been, health will keep on as second place to everything within the island of disenchantment.
Why is it that sometimes it seems like High School never ends? Grown ups behave as brats even more than the brats themselves. Grownups that are suppossed to know when to stop being selfish, when to listen, when to help... But then again there is war thanks to grown ups... What do I expect?
I am disappointed at the lack of interest for Deedee when it comes to family and friends. I dont understand why it is as if she were not important at all. I dont understand how people can so easily get the attitude of out of sight out of mind. I feel we have been forgotten. It is like we no longer belong anywhere with anyone we used to know. Friends and family have become ghosts... not even happy ghosts. No kind words, no words at all. I never expected that I could be erased so easily from the lives of so many people I did so much for... I have gone through hell and back for so many, I have believed in so many, I have given second and third chances, and helped in every way to so many... It is hard when you look at your side and see no one of those who said I meant so much for them, and that they were friends for life. It is even harder when you face the biggest hard pill that I have faced with my hubby, and then everyone vanished. We had to come here, HAD, not a choice... And it all led to a string of bitter-sweet surprises, and a show of what is important and what is not. All the people we know live in such drama... And their play is so important in their heads... And they live the same drama day by day doing nothing about it, letting that drama consume them.
I know drama. I was there. Then the BIG PILL happened... And now I see life with real eyes. Drama is such a waste of time and energy. Drama is useless. This BIG truth is like the biggest thing I will ever learn... And I wish I could pass it on, as it unfolds so much wisdom... But, sadly, all of our friends are cocooned within appearances, power struggles, achieving everything and anything just because and not because it is a cause in itself. This is when a BIG PILL becomes the katabolic element that makes you see things as they are... the importance of love, truth, faith, friendship, tolerance, giving, believing. I have become a better person because of the BIG PILL. I can understand things that I never thought I would, and I now see what it means to have courage and be strong. And within it all, I can say I am happy. It saddens me that in this journey I dont have my close life friends whom I care for so much, whom I would take a bullet for, who are so important to me even if they are asswipes. I wish they could be struck by lightning so they see... that what they think is real and important is not. But I guess things don't matter anymore as much as I want them to matter. everyone makes choices, and has to pay for them. I don't understand why the choice of being there is so hard... because it was second nature to me. I expected to get back what I gave without thinking about it, and that's the root of being dissapointed. In some cases I threw pearls to swine... In others I was simply so completely misunderstood by the ones who were suppossed or boasted that they knew me so well...
I am lucky I have been blessed with a loving husband, and a child that teaches me the real facts of life every second. I wish my few friends would actually behaved like so... but to each their own. Whoever is true will be, and whoever is not will simply remain gone. Their choices. They are missing a big thing.
