I was killed last night. The last part of me that held some belief in life and goodness died. I had no sleep, and although I want to stop crying I cannot stop…
Trilogy did not even bother to resurrect at the 22nd… what could have been our 2nd monthaversary… Haven’t hear from him since last Friday at midday… before I hanged up. We were nothing, he said… Seems he meant it…
So, following logic I decided to give some credit to whom really deserved it… So I decided that I would stop caring for Trilogy and will give Groundel a complete chance for life. I was re-writing the wedding invitations, when he arrived he was surprised but no stir… I felt he was not moved… We watched 2 movies. Then I just spent the rest of the night lost in thought, lost in his cold reaction, lost in the pityfull reality that I have around me… And I cry without thinking, or wanting to… Reality kicks in after 5 days of no Paxil… And I cry… For it is all I can do right now, in this time of “Joy”and “Brotherhood”and “Hope”.
There will be no wedding. Neither with Gilberto nor with Steve. Alex was right… I am to end up a crazy old lady, surrounded by hundreds of cats… but alone…
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