Song of silence

Monday, Tuesday... now Wednesday. I will go work tomorrow, have enough of this walls and need to do something more active or I'll keep on diggin my grave. I miss Sti. I miss him badly. I miss his voice, his anoying habits, his presence... I do love him. I guess I needed thi to rhink hard about that fact. He doesnt trust that G is gone for good within me, because he says I have said the same before. And he still says he cant come back, that he doesnt feel this is his home, that he doesnt feel the love he should feel for me. He says there is not another woman. He says he wants to take it really slow, try being friends for a while, try going out perhaps, give it time...

Easier said than done. It is not a choice for me, but it is not like I am given any options after all. I browsed the picture albums and laughed and cried. So many years together cannot go to waste. We make good music together, its just that the bad is sometimes what seems to scream "look at me"... Even if the good has been blissful.

My intentions are true... But he wont take me in. He wont come back.

I lost everything again, thanks to G.

Everything.