Sti came to me. We had the talk. I asked him 3 times, and 3 times the same answer... He doesnt love me as a woman, he was pretending to love me that way, he loves me as family but not as a wife. He was to comeback because he missed me... I said no. I said you can come everyday, stay as long as you like, but there is no point to you sleeping in my apartment if there is nothing between us because I cannot keep on wating time in mtters of giving myself a chance for finding love... We both cried. We went to eat and to see Dark Water. And then I left him in the gas station... We had a final talk about that matter and I tried to control myself the best I could. I've cried... I've cried so hard... because I do love him. I wanted to have faith, I wanted to believe... but he feels something completely different... It hurts. Badly. It hurts... How can I convince myself that it is for the better, that letting go is the only way of making things straight and right? It hurts... I place all this in God's hands, as there is nothing else to do... Nothing.
Best friends forever... Though lovers be lost... Love shall prevail... Love in its purest essence.
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