Gil: He called last night. In the middle of a decent conversation he starts being stupid. His mentioning that everything was my fault because of Stv being there, that I was the one that messed things up, that I was the one that had all faults inflated my anger. I told him, if this is his idea of getting a lady he better take the course again. Because i did nothing wrong, contraire to him... He always lied behind my back to go with his friends, and partied on and got drunk and did drugs... Oh, but it was years back when he was young! Fuck the story of years back! We are talking 4-6 years back, not ages ago! And I've been standing all his bull for 15 years... And it is so hard for him to swallow that I took Stv for trip... wow... Like he didnt go in a trip w/ his friend... Like he didnt plan his grad trip without taking me into account... well, he never takes me into account... Like he doesnt actually enjoy handling women in his so-called job... Gimme a break. Im not dumb. Im not naive. The old nun is gone. I used to be innocent, trusting, good... but he changed it. He changed everything. And his lies and mistreatment and attitude has made me resentful, intolerant, angry, bitchy, a hater of the male breed. Yup, breed. Men are dogs. They are only good for bed, eating and sleeping... oh, and shitting.
Stv: He doesnt love me now. That may change. He sees me as a sister. He fucks me like a dog in heat. But he doesnt love me, its just sex. And he is not attracted to me. Im like a sister... And he kisses me. Ok... Then I guess he's a very disturbed guy that is into incest? WTF? Oh, he wants to make sure hes not w/me out of routine. He wants to make sure he loves me. As a woman. In the meanwhile, he passes by, we go out eat, we watch movies, we fuck, he goes home because he doesnt feel comfortable in my home... We are brothers... WTF? It's been an entire month of this bullshit. From the 26th that he left, to the 26th on July... a whole month... of wtf? of stupid things that he has in his stupid brain... He wants no compromise? Just to fuck? Fine. I can play that game. But then why he gets so jealous whenever G is mentioned... even knowing G is anoying me and I am no longer so interested in that child-mother relationship? I dont get Stv either. I'm getting fed up. I thought he was different, but no... he's a man... eat, shit, sleep, fuck. That's it.
Taz: I seem to like this guy. Mostly its lust. I like how he is, in a primal way. Want to meet him just to get it over with, and see if there can be more. Dont want to waste my time with what ifs. To the point, and if it works... good... if it doesn't... it was allright.
Marie: Just met her. Writing to each other. Want to meet her. I'm getting more convinced each day that lesbians are the best companions, because they know what it is like to be a woman.
Yes, that's the big deep thought of the day... Want a man to fuck, want a woman to love. I guess thats the cruelest truth about it all... Because men are good for one thing only: sex. Women are too deep to be described in words.
Can anyone prove me wrong?
Anyone?
10-4
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