Stv frustrates me. I have tried everything, and still he is aloof and careless. I don’t understand his ways or his love. He wants punishment and he thinks he deserves nothing good, and drags me into the mud with him. I don’t get it. He has no will or desire for a better life. And he has little or none attention to give to me. I feel lonely, alone, abandoned, worthless, jaded, sad… I cannot live in staleness and boredom and monotony. I am tired of taking shit when I should be getting roses and poems and dreams. I wish for being treated with respect, sweetness, tenderness, happyness, eagerness, passion… I wish to feel loved, to feel that things aint always on my side of the arena, that I am past of a team, that I belong… I feel reaped, deceived, tossed aside, uninportant… Apply the song Mr. Cellophane to me. I feel that there is no point to my existence.