There is no such thing as to actually be in love. The idea that sells everywhere is completely wrong. It is not a matter of eyes falling over the right person and then magic filling all the gaps… Love grows thanks to time wasted on one another, from true caring and giving without expectations. Only by a genuine desire of giving can it begin to take shape, and then a breath of chance may turn what was common and casual into something magical and unique. At this point I ask myself, have I loved in the complete sense of that word? Or have I just responded to a vain emotion that was based in shallow motives… And then comes the diversification of what a need is, of what shallow means and what everyday life offers as opportunities for depth and magical instances.
Once upon a time I would go all the way out in a giving frenzy. Saying I expected nothing is a big fat lie because when you give you always expect something: Gratefulness, thanks, or the same giving from those around you. There is always an alternate motive for every action, and those who do give because of the simple sake of giving are, as we all know, saints. In todays society, giving in exchange of nothing seems an altruism that is very difficult if not impossible to achieve. From childhood we are taught the value of material things, owning is the best way to flaunt success… Manipulation is a natural ability honed by time. Children know plenty about that art, we can seethis in todays children and their ability to get the toys that are in demand… expensive toys that most of the time do not even entertain for real… But as the TV advertises, the expensive packs are the in the popular things… And kids manipulate parents into getting the goodies, to store them or stack then or break them shamelessly… Kids are expected to gain values from school or TV. And the lessons that they keep learning are the ones that feed their egos, the ways of getting all the things they want, mostly without boundaries. Drugs & violence becomes just means of getting what they want. Give and take, no excuses, 24/7. And in the way, squash anything and anyone that tries to get in your way, or that may be a hazard to your goals. A sad thing, but it is true. The hope of the future is in the hands of the small lizards that run the streets today… That is a scary thought in itself. This is not a generation of giving for the sake of giving, for the greater good… And we stand as the victims that once long ago believed in those things but… somehow… stopped believing in the way…
Seems I am ranting… I am ticked off because of all the messages I’ve been getting about love, about friendship, about compassion, about real beauty… Bullshit. It’s all bullshit. Pretty words coming from hollow grounds, hollow souls that doesn’t believe in equality. How can anyone speak of love when there is no forgiveness, when there is no justice, when there is no belief in goodness… How can anyone speak of friendship when whenever someone succeeds people envy and wish the worst for that person instead of being happy for him… How can anyone speak of compassion when there is no kindness in the streets while you drive, or any kindness with beggars and addicts, or no time for the elders… How can they speak of real beauty when all that this society imposes is that you must have all the right curves and muscles or get them under surgery because if you are not what TV and magazines call pretty people then you are not even worth knowing… It’s all bullshit. Messages spread like diseases because of the date that lays ahead, the day of friendship and love… It should be called the day of liars and hypocrites.
Why we need one day to remind us that friendship and love is important? Shouldn’t that be something that we keep in our minds everyday? Consumerism… Motels and infidelity… Chocolate and diamonds… How about faithfulness, truth, faith, sharing the little miracles that happen everyday, sharing joy and tears, sharing life… Silly me… If one flower could erase every sin there would be no place for saints in heaven…
Whatever. I may be too bitter or too sad or too jaded… What is called love has been the most disappointing fantasy in my life. There is no real giving, there is no empathy… Maybe its all because of the things that constantly happen around us, that makes us less trusting, less gullible… Maybe it all has to do with the tooth fairy being exposed as a lie, and santa claus being exposed as a lie, and the 3 kings being exposed as yet another lie… and the easter bunny… and everything that we were taught as pretty ideas of sharing and mirth and that in the end where all lies… Love is like that… A pretty idea that fades with age, as sin and adulthood takes away the shred of innocence and belief… If only we could all stay as kids forever… But then it wouldn’t be so blissful for we would be dancing reggaetón everywhere… Iconic sexism everywhere… Ah, so much for innocence… so much for values… so much for feelings… so much for love…
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