Frustrated about the burocracy of the Catholic Church… I have never been so sure and certain about something in my entire life, and now it’s a matter of dancing to the beat of stupid people that actually think that we are clueless younglings… And it is all simply annoying. I know things will work out in the end, yadda yadda… but I guess it’s the being so used to everything conspiring against what I want that makes me feel so… at loss… If it weren’t for my beliefs I would simply go ahead with the civil marriage, after all it is done the instant you want it… period. Why the Church make everything so complicated? So hard? Then they wonder why so few are actually getting married… why the “living together” rate is so high… Ugh! Gotta remember that good things come to those who wait… And I know… This is all supposed to be a time for more spiritual-level arousing, so it actually has a meaning in the religious context… It’s just that so many people marry for the wrong reasons… And we just want to do it for all the right ones. I hope that the priest sees that on Saturday… I hope it all stops looking so “fruitless”in a way… People have told me that I should simply do a Christian thing, that catholics are stuck ups… or go civilian… But that would not make any sense for me. I am a masochist. I like the structure and ceremony of catholic rituals. It is what I know from my whole life, and what feels right for me. Anyone marry civilian way, or live together. God has been kind with me, giving me a gift that always was and always will be. It makes perfect sense that we take the time to make a ceremony that involves depth and meaning, actually making Him part of it all. We have already gone through much high tides to get where we are. A small tide is not that challenging when they are both compared. Step by step… It would be easy if I were not so impatient…
Well… Six months from now should translate to enough time to have light, put a cistern, paint, clean, move the furniture, get basic stuff and kitty proof the upper floor… on my side… and taking the necessary courses and to make certain things about the girl and the oni are clear, on his side... plus taking the couple course and making all preparations on both sides. Viewing things without emotion, six months is just the right amount of time for all that… especially viewing that the weekends are flying away pretty fast due to so many things to do & so little time… So I should stop my whining… Just pass the priest approval and get over with each task ahead. There are plenty of things to keep us pretty busy after all. Stress levels for just 3 months can be killer. So the mental notes are: relax, release, and don’t be in such a rush. It will all turn out well.
Anyway…
Feeling: Excited, elated, loved, happy, thoughtful, introspective, humbled, blessed
Needing: Patience, rest, drive to initiate some things
Wanting: All that shiny stuff, better job that I really like
Having: True Love, sanity, faith, hope, peace, happiness, true friends
10-4
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