Anthems

Been mad, been insane, been possed, been emotional, been irrational, been beyond tired, been used and abused, been deceived, been stepped on, been betrayed... Past life sucks much.

Been loved, been cared for, been taken care of, been understood, been treated with respect, been adorned, been adored, been listened to, been admired, been praised, been acknowledged, been accepted, been changed forever... Present and Future seems too much of a mild dream, a dreamscape that brings me to a Garden of Eden where there are no prohibited fruits, where trust and love and compassion and faith and joy and valor and belief rules.

Can't complain about love, as I have found all I was looking for, so many years later... after being stabbed so many times by those who claimed to be my allies and lovers and friends. True love found me when I lost everything, when all i wanted was to live so I die... when hope abandoned me and there was no escape from the grasps of isolation and complete loneliness. Rebirth. I was reborn thanks to a leap of fate that changed everything I knew... No longer do I stand alone. I belong. And so i savor everyday with its joys and woes, finally getting to the conclusion that nothing really matters except truly living in the hands of LOVE in its most pure sense.

So, now to the laments...

-Home improvement rot. Inhumanly possible to fix all that needs to be fixed in my house. Need a plumber, an electrician, a handyman... and most importntly, cash to do it all. bathroom not working, cistern not bringing water to 2nd floor, ceiling of stairs pouring water each time it rains, baby's room not even started... Amd wilderness fucking it all up outside. Ugh! Help!

-Craving to complete home decor, but until the basics are fixed this one is a dream...

-Utilities rising in price... And so, still no cable and no DSL. So much for civilization...

-Nutricious diet anoying me to the bone, especially since I really want a piece of frosted cake and can get none...

-Baby arriving within 8 weeks... And still, I have nothing for her, but unconditional love...

-Carless for this week, thanks to people being so informal and irresponsible... even when you are actually paying them for their work!

-Stupidity from people that are suppossed to be supportive and that call themselves your friends.

-More stupidity from your best friends...

-Even more stupidity from family and co-workers... GET A LIFE PEOPLE!!!

-Not enough cash for decent gothic oriented pregnancy glothing... O keep looking like earthmother on a rampage or as the spirit of Xmas on July... Ugh!

-Not enough rest

-Not enough time and energy to do what i wanted to do at aunties home...

-Not enough will to ignore everything that bothers me and simply go on...

-Did I mentioned stupidity from people?

Yeah, basically all is summed up by no money, having too much things to complete, and having too many opinions to annoy anyone's lives. So... When the material worl simply won't cut it, one is forced into seeing things in the ethereal realms... So I may not be building rainbows with my happiness, but I do acknowledge the basics:
-I am surrounded by a few friends, but it is a few that cares about me deeply
-I have a loving husband who is honest, faithful and true
-I have people who even if they annoy me, they support me
-I have brains and knowledge, and the desire to grow even more and be the greatest goddess around!
-I am about to be something I never thought possible... a mother... Scary but exciting! the closest thing to cheap cloning!
-I have God, who has always been there for me through good and bad... And has helped me survive.

And so... I may not be rich in material things, but in the ethereal... I rock!

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