Ch 7.3 Same shit

Same shit, same tears, same despair... I have no other way to describe my inner feelings. G just never looks for me, doesn't even call, doesn't move a finger or a thought... And it makes me mad, it makes me wanna kill and hurt and end it all... No point in feeling... no point in emotions. All is a big lie... A beautiful dreaming of deceit... My love for Alex means nothing, my love for Gil means nothing and my love for Sti means nothing. All of them hurt me without thinking twice, without hesitation... The perfect life with Alex is shattered by his ego. My idilic life with Gil is shattered by his stupidity. My adventurous life with Sti is shattered by his lack of self. It is all a lost cause. A draining cause. No matter how much I wanna be cold, to hide my feelings or kill them, I can't. It all gets me in the end, and kills me dagger by dagger... little by little...